Post Thanksgiving ponderings

I had a friend mention about traditions changing. Rather than mourning the old, she is embracing the new.

Made me think of my life.  How I started years ago putting up my own tree and making it fun.  She made me think of other things.  Like my cranberry relish that I learned to make after eating it at a Frankenmuth Michigan restaurant.  Yesterday I got to share some of this with an old friend who came to visit with her dog for Thanksgiving. Because of the dog the tree didn't get put up.  But it will get up today, thanks to help from another friend.   Because of a lingering cold, my energy levels are down and I do appreciate the help.

Today promises to be a good day, of cleaning, and getting some of the Christmas stuff out and up, a day later than my usual "tradition."  When you don't have a family to cook dinner for,  you may be blessed, as I am with a later or earlier celebration of the holidays with your extended family, or you may not have anyone but a few friends to have a celebration with, or you may end up alone, which is when establishing your own private traditions becomes a good way to make the holiday special if only for you.  You are worth it.

It would be easy, especially when you are younger, to remember the days when you were part of a nuclear family, either as a child, or as a parent.  It is then that those memories of joys that are no longer part of your life can become bittersweet, or even grow into depression.  It is then that you have to reevaluate and find things you can enjoy about today, and do them.  Even reading a book, or working on a project, or watching the plentiful Christmas movies or other fun things on TV, can be savored.  In this computer age, social networking sites can be a way to connect as well.  As long as you rejoice with your friends in their postings and not get jealous.  Do your own thing and be blessed.

When you stop and think about it, there are many people in this world whose families have grown, or who never grew families themselves.  You are not alone, even though you may be physically alone. 

Carpé Diem   (Seize the day) is a good attitude if you can handle it.  It gives each day its joy and is not dependent on other people to succeed.  You just have to look at the list in your head or elsewhere of things you need to do, and pick and choose.  John Donne said once words to this effect  "Do the thing that lies nearest to you, and then your next duty will appear most clear"  I learned the truth of this in my Freshman English Lit class taken my Junior year (don't ask) at Central Michigan University.  It stuck with me.  It is golden advice.

I remember well one year when I was first living alone and had to put up my Christmas tree all by myself.    I kept putting it off, because it was work for me, and I was working full time, but once vacation started it was still not up and I had to go to a midnight Christmas Eve party for our singles group.  It was Christmas Eve for Pete's sake and there sat my tree in a pile in the living room.  So I got to work.  As I hung the ornaments I started to feel better.  I felt the presence of my Savior with me as I put up the tree.  I realized that I am never alone, and in this special lonely slice of time His presence made me feel loved.  After the tree was lit, I had time to sit and look at it.   I remembered with sadness a day a long time ago when my Dad was too depressed to help us put up our tree when my sister was in her early twenties, and I was just sixteen.

Our family had always gone to the Christmas tree lot late to get the bargains.  Then we would bring it home and Dad would saw off the end and we would put it in the old stand with water, and get out the old lights with the big bulbs and check them and get them on the tree.  Then the rest of the decorations would be put on by us girls.  I guess my parents were depressed about changes caused by us growing up.  My Dad refused to get a tree.  So I went out and bought one and brought it home, and somehow got it cut off.. maybe Dad did that.  As I struggled with it he lay on the couch and kept saying that he didn't know why I was bothering with all this stuff because "Christmas was for kids" and we weren't kids any more.

Nevertheless, I got the tree up, and decorated, all by myself with negative comments from my parents, who prior to this year had always provided beautiful Christmas memories, and continued to do so after that year as well.  I am not sure what was going on in their lives that year, but I got the tree up all by myself and we all did enjoy it.  for the week or so that it was up.

As I thought about that tree, and sat looking at my 1980's artificial tree I noticed an ornament one of my teacher friends had given me.  It was a Hallmark fake cookie dough ornament that simply said "J O Y" .  As I viewed the ornament I thanked the Lord that I was not alone when I put up that particular tree, but that He was very much with me.  As I thought about that, He sweetly spoke into my mind, that I was not alone either on that dark December day when I was sixteen and put up that other tree, that He was with me then as well.  I was able to share that story at our singles gathering that evening, and each year I remember it, and if I have a tree, I hang that JOY ornament where I can see it from my easy chair Christmas morning while I have cocoa and toast, and some quiet moments with the Lord about whom Christmas is celebrated.

A couple of years ago, I looked up that Hallmark ornament on E Bay and found out that it was actually worth a few dollars more than my friend paid for it, since I have the original box.  Sell it?  I think not.  It has far greater value to me, as I remember that 1980's Christmas tree, and even remember the friend who gave me the ornament, but especially the One who will never leave or forsake me, whose birth we honor in this season.